“I remember thinking ‘I should do my due diligence on this one,’” she remembers, after spending a weekend chatting with this potential significant other.
“I don’t know why, I felt something was off.” In a bizarre turn of events, the man turned out to be a wanted criminal.
I had been at another party weeks before, and a guy friend of hers had also been in attendance, apparently observing me from afar. I found these two scenarios baffling and frustrating, further proof that dating in New York is like banging your head up against a brick wall—just don’t do it.It’s that we are dating in pursuit of someone we can love so that we can marry.It’s important to remember that there is nothing wrong with that mindset of dating. ”The truth is, behind that difficult question is a whole host of fears.At first, I thought it was a busy work schedule that kept my personal life bleak, but when I received a text a month back from a crush asking for a job rather than a drink, I threw my hands up. He was smart, funny, creative, successful; tucked in a small corner of a dive bar, we talked everything from Obama to threesomes for hours. I cracked a bashful smile—as an undateable, I was going to take this attention in stride. Apparently, my friend explained, he thought I might be too cool to hang out with him.When I stepped outside for a moment, the host grabbed my wrist. “But he thinks you would never go for him,” she continued. What part of me talking to him for a few hours seemed to suggest that I wasn’t interested? I laughed in confusion: This was a book launch party in the middle of the week; it was about as wild as it was going to get for me.